Kaine You Fit on a Bumper Sticker?
WASHINGTON — MIDNIGHT, JULY 31
Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine has always seemed to fit more of Barack Obama’s needs as a running mate than any other potential candidate under consideration.
Not the least of which because his name not only fits on a bumper sticker, but it makes marketing magic in the overt and subliminal messaging.
OBAMA-KAINE
In one’s mind it unmistakably reads Obama CAN…Yes, I know there’s long E at the end there, but it still works. Obama CAN. He Kaine (Can) bring change. He Kaine (Can) bring hope. He Kaine (Can) win Virginia — crucial if the first two are EVER going to get done.
But it also works as an initial combination: OK in ‘08.
Of course you can see it now….the buttons, the bumper stickers, the posters, the banners, the hats, the T-shirts, the shoe-laces, the I-Phone covers, the face tattoos (most temporary, some not).
Other variations immediately assert themselves: Obama-Kaine: OK for Change; Obama-Kaine: OK on Hope; Change is OK with me!; I’m OK with Hope!; I’m OK, they’re OK!; Obama-Kaine, They’re OK by Me!
The mind boggles.
And if domain names such as these aren’t already snapped up…………………………………………………………….
But I digress.
I’m not suggesting this is the most important criterion for a Veep pick. But it’s one you have to at least think about.
Take Sen. Evan Bayh of Indiana for example. He passes many tests with flying colors (Sentorial chops, national security experience, ties to vanquished Clinton empire, and an excellent rep with the political media).
But I wonder about the bumper sticker:
OBAMA-BAYH
Don’t you think Republicans would immediately turn that into: OBAMA-BYE!!!!
I think they might. Not that this would prove fatal. But it might be something to consider.
Gov. Kathleen Sebelius is also a top contender, and why not? She’s a solid governor, has red state popularity, Obama grew up in Kansas, and she’s a woman who might appeal to Hillary backers.
But, again, the sticky bumper sticker issues raises its gluey head (or frayed paper edge):
OBAMA-SEBELIUS
That’s seven vowels, six consonants and seven syllables. It would barely fit on most bumpers and would probably need a bigger font size just so the vowels don’t get all squeezed together. And as Americans shift from SUV bumpers to sedan bumpers, the font size on your bumper sticker is nothing not to brake for — if you get my meaning. Also, say it out loud to yourself: OBAMA-SEBELIUS.
Can’t you hear the Republican bumper sticker rejoinder: OBAMA R U SERIOUS?
I don’t know if any of these GOP bumper answers would actually surface. But I’m still stuck on how the GOP turned Gore-Lieberman into Sore-Loserman. Based on that creation, I don’t think I’m violating rules of poetic or political license by suggesting the Republican syllabic smashups outlined so far.
What about Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware? He really hits the foreign policy, senatorial suave, TV-savvy and media-friendly buttons. And the Obama-Biden bumper sticker is not overwhelming in terms of syllables (5), vowels (5) or consonants (5).
But I still think Republicans could do something with it. Something like: OB = Oh, Brother!, or OB = Off Balance, or Give BO the Heave-Ho!
Maybe, maybe not?
I’ve tried to come up with a GOP revision of Obama-Kaine and all I came up with was OBAMA-Kaine’T, which would read, of course, OBAMA-CAIN’T.
But I thought that wouldn’t work because it would beg the question, can’t (ahem, CAIN’T) what? Can’t win, can’t govern, can’t hit a three-pointer under tough two-guard pressure?
No political party worth its salt or sarcasm would permit such existential musings – on the freeway or anywhere else. And certainly not on buttons, hats or yard signs. Can you imagine if a yard sign proved an indirect path to existential self-inspection? Not only would no one’s lawn ever be moved, there might be all variety of vehicular house invasions.
No. Obama-Kaint’T simply won’t do.
What about Hillary Clinton?
We all know why that can’t work.
If the printer doesn’t reverse the names, most of her supporters will.
We’ll see if Obama and Kaine have a zest for bumper sticker marketing. If not, at least I hope they have a taste and tolerance for weak, late-night political satire.
I am surprised you missed the most obvious name combination, which may work against Obama…Obama Kaine, or as I read it, Oba MaKaine (McCain). Who am I really voting for in November with this ticket?
What about “Oba… McCain”?
Obama Can! I love it (because it’s true).
Oh, Major, you’re so clever. Is this really how the FOX crowd chooses its politicians?
Doesn’t “Kaine” have a long A sound in the middle, rather than a long E sound at the end???
This post is fantastic.
What about the fact that Kaine’s name is also in the Republican ticket?
Mick-Kaine!
Obama-Kaine!
When people say it fast, and if McCain picks Romney for example, the tickets would sound like this:
O-bom-a-cane vs. Mik-cane-rom-ny
From a syllabic perspective, it would sound like the tickets were eachother’s names reversed, something akin to: race car vs. car race
How about;
John McLame-$hit Romney, John McSame- Joe LIEberman or John McShame – Rudy Fooliani?
I quite like Biden for VP.
But “OBAMA-BIDEN” looks a lot like “OSAMA BIN LADEN” at a glance.
Just a thought.
Obama-Kaine = Obam-McCain. It gets the “McCain” sound in there. That could hurt Obama.
Major, would you please answer a question(s) that has been festering in my soul for years? Why does it matter which candidate the majority of theU.S. voters want, since we don’t cast our ballot directly for the Office of President? How could the will of the people be so blatantly disregarded? An obvious flaw in the electoral college process exacerbated by the fact that Al Gore won the Popular Vote in 2000, and lost the election. There was an implied pledge of the superdelegates that was not kept. Are there any reforms underway to improve a process that desperately needs overhauling? I hope you can pose the question(s) on a platform that will raise awareness and/or reinforce the importance of changing the system for the better, to avoid the calamity of George Bush 2000. To date, one of the most ineffable events in the history of the world.
Doesn’t Kaine sound too much like McCain? And “Obama-Kaine” reads “Oba-McCain”. What about that problem?
Yes, u Kaine. Obama Kaine 2.
Johnny71 will stand there blinking wondering what foot goes first.
These Obama Sebelius campaign logos look it will fit on the back of a car bumper easily to me.
PIC 1
PIC 2
It’s good to see that Fox news is again focused on the key issues in this elections.
Obama/Petreaus is THEEE dream ticket
Obamakaine. His logo is warped into a swirling tropical cyclone twisting and turning as it rips small southern coastal communities apart.
Snort some ObamaKaine.
For pro GOP sticker : McCain or Hussien ?
I’m an atheist and the first thought I had was Obama-Cain (as in the sinister brother of Abel) …
You do know that Tim Kaine’s name is pronounces “KAIN” right? It rhymes with “rain”.
Jeff:
“Are there any reforms underway to improve a process that desperately needs overhauling?”
The democrats won’t even change their own Primary Rules to a Vote for Vote system from a Delegate and Super Delegate system. So why would they want to do it to the National system that actually works to their advantage for campaigning purposes?
Being from Virginia is only makes sense to me why Sen. Obama would choose Gov Kaine as his
VP, TAXES, TAXES, TAXES. I seem to recall Gov Kaine stating like a few of our Govenors that he
would lower taxes here in the Commonwealth but OSHAME, taxes have gone up. Now we as
voters in the greater election we can look at higher taxes since SEN Webb and most likely
Mark Warner will get elected then we will have a real voting block for higher taxes and less
representation.
Whatevere,
McCain will prevail in the end.
It is to dangerous to make inexperience Obama to be President.
People will soon know that.
Barack, please get over yourself so we can have a democrat in the White House. Swallow your gigantic male pride and pick HILLARY
You’re all a bunch of homophones.
Major, have you start a fund to pay for the Obama deprogramming. Lets see, an article slamming McCain for a switch on taxes and a puff piece about Obama on a bumper sticker. Some day you will be a reporter again – today – you are just a shill – do you still have the ability to be embarrassed? What a waste of a career.
Humorous column because it was funny. Most of Fox “News” is just laughable.
Hi Minor,
congratulations, so far you’re the only right-wing alien Murdoch dittohead that will allow my comments. I realize that the republican/KKKRove/Patriot act repealed the first Amendment so that we can go directly to the second, but your Nazi colleagues keep lying about fair and balanced but they won’t even accept liberal viewpoints.
Bill Carli
Alliance, Blue Ohio this time
Minor,
I sent you a congratulatory note for accepting my comment unlike any other right -wing site in America but then i wasn’t accepted by you either.
Bill Carli
Alliance Blue Ohio
Very clever, Major!
Now tell us how you would vote if the election was on Tuesday?
Blog is super
Obama Kaine – Everything’s going to be O.K. – that’s pretty good but is it enough to make up for Obama-Nation?
http://www.UpYoursObama.com/